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 End Of Holding On

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ueda-hime
The Unknown
The Unknown
ueda-hime

Number of posts : 4
Age : 24
Country : End Of Holding On Canada
Role : End Of Holding On Membersx3
Reputation : 2
Points : 10
Registration date : 2009-05-09

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PostSubject: End Of Holding On   End Of Holding On Icon_minitimeSat May 09, 2009 5:58 am

The 2nd and last part. I really like this one!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your hand ever so reluctantly
slipped away from mine.

With nothing to hold,
my hand is empty.
Just a piece of flesh and bones.

My palm tingles even now.
A lasting imprint of your hand
-or more truthfully, a scar that blazes.

In just a few days, I had memorized
the map of your hand.

Every callous,
Every curve
Every crease,
Every criss and
Every cross.

Now Iím looking at the back window
of this suffocating van.

Youíre smiling and laughing
as you walk away,
without my hand.

Nothing to cling on
but the burden of books.

Nothing to do but move on
to the distant fumes of chalk dust.

Nothing to see
but pages and pages of endless text.

Realize that books slip, that
chalk dust burns my nose,

and that my hands remain vacant,
until I feel the reawakening
of that blazing scar.
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Ded
Admin
Admin
Ded

Number of posts : 230
Age : 27
Location : Hull, UK
Country : End Of Holding On England-1
Role : End Of Holding On Administratorzt5
Reputation : 1
Points : 116
Registration date : 2008-06-24

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PostSubject: Re: End Of Holding On   End Of Holding On Icon_minitimeSun May 10, 2009 9:36 pm

Very good and welcome to the forum. been VERY quiet lately but hopefully this'll kick the members up the bum.

very good poems.
i like the first one due to returning always to the key phrase "I close my eyes......"
however i can't critique poetry that well due to being a song writer so i try and read it like a song.

repped both.

_________________
Read the AUP!

rosendula wrote:


1. Did you hear about the magical tractor that turned into a field?

2. What's red and invisible?
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